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Monday, 15 December 2014


We were in the same batch but we never talked, we had mutual friends but it was rare that our eyes met in school. As we passed out of school, we still remained strangers. Even during the farewell, we didn’t click a pic together. We were strangers but destiny always has it own plots, own games. After 1 year, I got a friend request from her. I gladly accepted it, for a change she looked beautiful and I was glad to add a beauty to my friend list. We started talking, we were cities apart. She was in Bangalore, I was in Mumbai but there was some connection and we had a lot of stuff to talk about that we couldn’t when we were in school. We developed an instant liking for each other, she was an allrounder and could sing, dance, paint, cook and do what not. I loved playing guitar and used to sing songs for her. She always loved it to core. .She always encouraged me , everytime I composed a song and she used to say,” sweetheart you will make it big one day” and I always used to cherish her words. With her, it was the most wonderful long distance relationship I ever had.

There was a thirst to meet each other, a hunger to devour each other but then things are never that easy. One day luck favoured our desire and I got a chance to go to Bangalore to attend a 3 day seminar, I was to represent my college along with my batch mates but then I was least bothered to represent my college, it was a golden chance to meet her and I didn’t want to let it go. I informed her and she was equally ecstatic about meeting me. as I left Mumbai, I was counting hours and was eager to meet her. I reached Bangalore and texted her that I have reached. She replied back, so Mr ready for some live action. I said yeah. When I reached, it was late midnight so was really tired and as we reached our hotel, I went to sleep. As I woke up and did my daily chores, the plan was made, as the first day was important and I could not risk bunking it, I called her and said, we would be meeting in the evening. I gave her my location and she agreed to pick me up.  I was counting my hours again once my registration was done. Those hours looked like years, and I was getting desperate. As the clock struck 5, I ran out and reached the place, she was waiting for me. we looked at each other and that moment I could never forget. It was a moment of happiness, a moment full of love, a moment that was awaited for so many years, so many months, so many days, so many hours, so many minutes, so many seconds. The hour to meet, that hour had come. We both had tears in our eyes and we ran towards each other and collided into each other’s arms.  We hugged each other tightly and cried out of happiness and ecstasy. As I took her face in my arms, I wiped her tears and looked at her carefully. She was beautiful, very beautiful, those eyes full of love, her silky hairs that were dancing in the breeze, those lusty lips….aaahhh with every moment passing by, I was getting crazy for her. I pushed her towards myself and held her back firmly. I brushed my lips with her and gave her a peck. She gave me a peck back and then slowly our lips were inseparable, we were exploring each other, our tongues were fighting the erotic battle of love and he battle  lasted for minutes till we panted for breathe. We smiled at each other and I took her arms and we had a evening walk at a nearby park. We wanted to talk so much, but we were running short of words, words were not coming and for half an hour it was just an awkard silence that followed after the kiss.  But then someone had to break the ice, I told her how beautiful she was and described her in a song that came in my mind, the song I sung was “ ek ladki ko dekha to AISA Laga jaise….la la la la la” and she was blushing. I spent time with her till 7, that was when I got a call from my teacher and I was told to report immediately. We made the plan for the next day, I was to bunk the second day and spend a  whole day with her at her place as no one would be their at her house. We departed after some time.

The next days that followed were one of the best days of my life, i bunked the seminar the second day and she came to pick me up, I had took my guitar along and I would be giving a live performance before her. as we reached her place, and as I kept my belongings down. As we stared at each other, I guess both was knew what was to be followed, within a few moments, we had ripped each other’s clothes and we were exploring each other. As it was our first attempt, it was not perfect but still the passion was strong and we were crazy for each other. After trying out for a while we succeeded., as we were done, we were lying alongside each other, I kept staring at her naked body. Without clothes she looked like a sex goddess. there was a feeling of guilt in me, but I brushed it aside.  Suddenly I felt like an urge to sing, to sing for her. I took my guitar and began strumming it, and sung the song,” chura liya hai tumne jo Dil ko, Nazar nahi churana sanam….”. She looked at me with tears and hugged me tightly as I finished the song. Her naked boobs collided with my chest and it gave me an erection. We had another session of sex. As we rested on each other’s arms,  we talked a lot on random topics. I was madly in love with her , I kissed her forehead and hugged her tightly with a promise that I won’t ever leave her.  We fell asleep and woke up at 3 pm afternoon. She cooked lunch for me and we had lunch together. I must say, she was a bad cook. She had made Macaroni and it tasted really bad but still I ate it and complimented her on her cooking skills . after lunch, I took out my guitar and again hummed songs for her. this time she too joined me and we sang together in chorus. It was the best time spent together and I would cherish it all my life. It was time for me to leave now, it was evening and I had to reach early this time, so that I am present for the last session. She dropped me back to my place and before we departed, we kissed . the kiss was full of love, but the separation was filled with pain.

As I went back, I could not stop thinking of her. I couldn’t think of anything else. I was surprised that I had lost my virginity for real. I was happy beyond limits, I was in such a state that even if someone came and killed me, I would have died in peace. The next day, I had to leave at 3 p.m  so there was not much time left. I packed my belongings and asked her to pick me up at 9. I informed the authorities that, I will reach the station myself as I am going to meet a friend of mine. I texted her to pick me up, she came at 9.30 and we planned to go for a long drive. We visited the ulsoor lake and I must say, the lake is a beauty, I saw a lot of couples there. We did some boating there and while boating, she appeared gloomy. I knew she was not happy with me going so soon, but then some things are not in our hands. We didn’t talk much, there was a strange silence between us. I just took her hands in mine and promised he, I won’t leave her. She just smiled, I was puzzled what was going in her mind but girls are like that sometimes. They act weird, and you don’t know why. They will never tell you.

As the clock struck 1 we left that beautiful place and I took her out for a coffee date. Time was running short, I had asked my friend to take my bag with me, so I was not worried about it. We reached the station by 2:30, the train was on time. Before leaving, we gave each other a final hug and my friends around me understood, why I was bunking my classes. I was going back with those love bites and thoise beautiful memories, she gave me in this 3 days. I realized, its not how much time you have but its about how you spend it.

Back home, everything was going on well between us. after thos e 3 wonderful days, we had got more closer to each other. Even I her absence, I could feel her smell, her soul around me.  I was completely smitten by her. With time, Our bond grew stronger .We did fight at times but then those fights became a reason to cajole each other and love each other more.  She was perfect for me and I knew it, and we were perfect together.

5 years passed by loving each other, fighting each other. Cajoling each other, feeling each other…….there were problems but we managed. She was doing her MBA and I was doing my PG in mass communications. But then one day came the big question, a question that every couple has to face someday in their life, i.e MARRIAGE. The question of “ are you ready to take the relation to the next level ?” are you ready to tie the knot with her”. That’s when reality hits you hard and you are confused what to do. You don’t know how to tackle it because you never thought of it before.
Life was going so well like a perfect romantic story, that’s when she started getting marriage proposals, that was normal as she was already 23 years old and girls start getting marriage proposals as they reach their twenties.  I felt sick though, but then I was ok with it, even if proposals are coming her way, she is not going anywhere, she won’t leave me. the day I settle down, I will marry her but marrying her now was out of question, I was not ready for it at all. I couldn’t see myself marrying and raising a family in my early twenties. I had a lot of dreams to fulfill. She asked me that if I was ready for marriage, I said I was not ready. I thought the problem was solved until one day her parents showed her horoscope to a well known pandit who was famous for his prophesies. He said, that you should get your daughter married as soon as possible before she turns 24 because if you don’t, there would be some serious troubles in her life and that ended it, the peaceful phase of our relation came to an halt. The prophesy of that pandit screwed my relation, My life.

From that day onwards, her parents started looking for a perfect groom for their daughter and from here on she started pressing me to marry her, to ask her hand, to talk to her dad. I constantly refused, that I cannot and I am not prepared for it. She said, that even I am not prepared but I am not ready to spend my life with another man whom I rarely know, I want to live with you, I want to spend my life with you. I was confused and it was situation that I was not capable enough to handle. I had no idea what to do, where to go. She was a hindu Brahmin, I a christian how was it possible. I was not settled, had no job, I was a big zero,  living on the money of my parents, even if I married where would I keep her, how would I face her, was marriage feasible between us, I didn’t want to hurt my parents neither I wanted to hurt her. I asked her to convince her parents to wait for some years and once I get settled, I will surely come and take you with me and we will live happily but she said her parents were adamant. She said, that you just hold my hand, we will face it together, whatever difficulties may come but I still was not convinced. I feared my parents, the society and moreover when I look into the mirror, I myself never felt capable of marrying someone and raising a family, I couldn’t imagine myself doing something like that. For me I was still a boy who was yet to become a man.

Our fights increased with each passing day, she kept shouting, pleading, requesting but I just could not gather courage. She called me spineless, a man who had no guts, who had no balls to take a decision but   I just thought, may be everything will be alright one day, may be everything would be back to normal one day. Eventually one day she gave up on me and broke up with me,  calling me a man who used her for his physical needs, a man who played with his emotions, a man who broke her trust, a man who never wanted to marry her at first place. I tried to hold her back, I pleaded, I apologized but it was of no use, she was getting onto my nerves and out of anger, I blasted all my vented anger on her, that I could not marry when she wanted, when I am not ready for marriage, how can I do it at first place. I am not ready today that doesn’t mean that I won’t marry her tomorrow, It was just that I needed some time. She just said, that if you don’t wish to marry me today, you won’t wish it tomorrow too…wishes don’t change overnight…..its over….for me you don’t exist..bye God bless you….and she was gone.

For the first few days, I didn’t feel the pain but with each passing day, I started experiencing the void she had created in my life. I felt terrible, I was not able to eat or drink properly. Even my guitar couldn’t cherish my mood. With each passing day, I missed her more badly, I texted her, called her, but there was no response. She had turned into a stone that had no feelings. my heart like a glass had broken into pieces and those sharp pieces were hurting me. Her memories made me bitter, There were days when I used to cry inconsolably. I became rude with my parents because I thought, indirectly they were the reason, why I was living such a miserable life, a life devoid of love. Those miserable days, I started drinking frequently. With each day, the depression got larger and my mind was going through the darkest times, more the depression, more was the amount of alcohol consumed. Smoking weed gave me peace, getting lost into a all together different world gave me peace. I just wanted to escape, to run away from her memories. She was so beautiful damn,her lovely face, those beautiful eyes, her long hairs,her breasts, her navel,  her curves, her thighs…everything was so wonderful….her sexy dance moves….her melodious voice and those long hours of playing guitar and singing with her….those moments of dancing with her…..oh I was so madly in love with her….i was so crazy about her..oh what a wonderful girl she was…..once upon time she had loved me so much but she had gone now….gone far away…

And then one day she called me, I was mad with happiness but then when I received her call, she said she was getting engaged tomorrow and for the last time she wanted to talk to me. for a while she asked me, how I was doing, I said I am doing fine and for a while she sounded sober but then suddenly she broke down and started blubbering to make me from here, she just doesn’t wants to get married, she wants to live freely, independently, she wanted to live with me, to sing with me, to dance with me and I couldn’t take it any longer, and broke down into tears. We cried together for a while, may be for the last time. I had nothing to say….i didn’t knew what to say but then asked her to meet me for the last time but she refused and said,” lets face it, I will be someone else wife tommorrow… are a dog…and I don’t know how I fell in love with bastard……I love you and I always will….and the call was disconnected. I tried calling her back but she was unreachable. My life was shattered.

The day she got engaged, I strummed my guitar lost in her memories. She was my muse…my first muse….and she would always be…..i saw her engagement pics on facebook and it made me sick. Within a few days, she got married too and I saw her marriages pics…she looked happy…even though I was not happy to see her with another man…I was not sure whether she was happy too but the guy looked decent…she was in safe hands and may be he deserved her more than me…may be MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN HEAVEN…AND I WAS A DEVIL WHO DEFILED AN ANGEL….I had made a mess of my life …..i had to resurrect it back…..i had to join back those broken pieces to live again....Jesus knows I never wanted to leave her……my Lord knows it...

Sunday, 14 December 2014


What a wonderful girl you are ! 
How beautiful are your feet in sandals,
 The curve of your thighs is like,
 the work of an artist,
 A bowl is there, ,
that never runs out of wine.
 A sheaf of wheat is there,
 surrounded by lilies,
 Your breasts are like twin deer,
 like two gazelles. 
Your neck is like a tower of seduction. 
Your beautiful eyes are like
 the pools in the city of love,
 near the gate of that great city. 
Your nose is as lovely as a soft toy. 
Your head is held high,
your hair shines like the finest silk; 
your beauty attracts me,
it captures my heart; 
How pretty you are
,how beautiful, how complete 
the delights of your love, 
You are as graceful as a palm tree, 
and your lips as beautiful as petals of roses,
 To me your breasts are like bunches of grapes,
 your breath like the fragrance of flowers, 
and your mouth like the finest wine, 
o what a wonderful girl you are!

Saturday, 13 December 2014


When you look into newspapers this days, we see the news of rapes, Female foeticide,molestation, eve teasing, acid attacks on woman, domestic violence on women, women being beaten for dowry etc. All this have become quite common incidents that happen regularly on weekly basis. Now reading all this doesn't invoke any harsh feelings in our heart. We don't bother, we have accepted this harsh reality and have compromised with it. We think such things are bound to happen. They keep Happening and whats the big deal. This mentality is harming our society and it has harmed it to a great extent.

Every time we neglect such cruel incidents happening around us, we are actually supporting them. We are silently nodding our heads to this brutality. We are encouraging those mentally sick people who see and treat women as mere objects. What should be done is people should break their silence. It has started happening in recent times after the Delhi gang rape that happened in December 2012. People are coming out in large numbers protesting against crimes done against women. That's a good sign.

People say tough laws should be made and criminals like rapists should be punished heavily. There should be strict Punishments and procedure of judiciary should be made faster and simple because " JUSTICE DELAYED IS JUSTICE DENIED". Making tough laws is simple but to amend it and make people follow it is where the real test comes.  

What i personally feel is rather than making tough laws, we should make our women tough and strong to face their problems. They should be made able to fight all those who try to abuse them or tease them. They should know how to hit the balls of all those men who try to cross their limits. Rather than making her dependent on police and law forces, she should become self dependent. She should learn to defend herself. For this objectives to be fulfilled Martial arts and physical education should be made a part of our school curriculum. Our education system should free some space for self defense and martial arts.

Secondly i feel our mothers and elders should teach their sons to respect women. They should be taught that women are not just mere objects but human beings like you and me. Such moral values should be infused into them from a very young age.

Dowry system should be abolished because it is the biggest reason that contributes to Female foeticide. Girls are considered curse in a family just because to marry a daughter in a respected family. Huge sum of dowry has to be paid by her father. It creates financial problems in a family. People should understand " Girls are not a curse, but its a dowry system that is a curse on the society ". 

Girls should be given freedom, 
Freedom like we boys enjoy, 
Freedom that they deserve,
Freedom to fulfill their own dreams,
Give them a chance to be selfish,
A chance to make their own life,
live their own life on their,
own terms and conditions....

Daughters bring blessings in a family....... so Lets make this world a better place for them. They are our responsibility. Together we can make this world a beautiful place to live in.

Friday, 12 December 2014


This are the last words of a man who was wrongly convicted in the murder and rape of a woman….whom he never knew….because of which he had to spent 12 precious years of his life in jail…..a complete failure of the Judicial system...a blunder...

A man who lead a disastrous life, whose life was full of alcohol and drug abuse, a life full of misadventures, a life of chasing women, abusing them and using them for sex…This were his last words...

"I hope I go to neither heaven or hell. I wish that at the time of my death that I could go to sleep and never wake up and never have a bad dream. Eternal rest, like you have seen on some tombstones, that’s what I hope for, Because I don’t want to go through the judgement. I don’t want anybody judging me again. I asked myself what was the purpose of my birth when I was on death row, when I was destroying myself in the prison. If I was going to go through all that, what was even the reason for my birth, why was I born in first place ?  I almost cursed my mother and dad- it was so bad- for putting me on this earth. If I had it all to do over again, I wouldn’t be born……….".

Thursday, 11 December 2014


In a world of black and white,

you're a colorful sky.

With rainbows and sharp,

crystal diamonds for eyes.


That is what you are.

That is what I see.

You're the colored 

splashes on a painter's

dark masterpiece.

Smile. Always smile,

You're lovely to me.

Monday, 8 December 2014


Sherin was a 14 year old girl who just wanted to make friends and roam around like any other girl but She was always bullied in school, insulted, abused and was called names because she was overweight. Comments like , there goes a buffalo, the child of an elephant were quite common to be heard. She remain depressed because of such behavior from her school mates. She could not concentrate on her studies and never wished going to  school but she had to. Every time she went, she always met with those same abuses and insults. it had become really intolerable to her. She had started hating herself , no one liked her. Never did boys find her attractive and no one ever asked her out for a date.

She liked a guy named Rony and always found herself attracted towards him.  She always dreamed of Rony asking out for a date, so nice it would be, she thought. Rony was the best looking guy in her batch and once Rony asks her out, her fellow classmates would be so jealous. No one would tease her again and everybody would respect her because she will have the best looking guy beside her. She always tried to find ways to talk to him. She succeeded, and they became friends. To impress Rony she used to complete all his assignments and projects. She believed Rony would start liking her, but one day she heard something she would never have wanted to hear, One of her classmates asked Rony,” what’s cooking between you and Sherin, you both like each other”. Rony laughed, he laughed aloud and said,”  How can you even think of that, no way I would like that Fat ass, she doesn’t stands anywhere near me” and all his friends started laughing. Their laugh made her feel sick,she couldn’t take those insults anymore.  She couldn’t control her emotions and She ran away from that place and went to an isolated place. There she  cried, cried and cried and no one could console her that day. No one understood, why she wept that day. But then no one cared. She left school once she passed her 10th board exams.

After 3 years,

Facebook happened, and everyone revived their once lost contacts of high school. Even Sherin got in touch with her old school mates who used to make fun of her. Times change and they do for good, Sherin got in touch with Rony too. Rony was impressed by the change in her, the once fat silent nerd was beautiful attractive girl now. He texted her and asked her out for dinner. Sherin was so happy, she now knew that her hard work had payed off. Finally the guy whom she liked had asked her out and she was more than happy about it.

That day finally arrived when they had decided to meet. Rony went to the restaurant and sat on the table that he had already booked for Sherin and himself.  He waited for her, but  there was no sign of her. That was when a waiter came and asked," are you Mr Rony ". he said," yes". the waiter handed him a letter and said, a girl had come and asked this to hand it to you. Rony took the letter and when he saw it, he got the shock of his life.

Dear Rony,

With due respect i apologize that i cannot have dinner with you, You remember that day when you made fun of me because of my weight. i guess you don't, but i do.  once i left school, i spent the following  3 years less than a apple a day. so i decided that today i will skip my dinner with you, to avoid calories you know. remember how disgusted you use to feel being with me, may be because you never knew how i would look in coming years. you and your friends made my life hell in school. you never treated  me like human. those year's in school , those memories still scare me and i can never forget them but in this 3 years,  i was determined to change myself. i went through hell to make myself fuckable. i went through hell so that people like you could treat me as a normal human being.

I thought i would send this letter as a reminder. ask the waiter, once you are done reading the letter, he will give you a picture of mine. That's how i used to look 3 years ago and that was the girl who liked you not me. i have changed, times have changed, 3 years ago, you never felt me worthy of you, now i don' feel you worthy for me. i said yes to you, to make you realize how i felt about all this years. it was a burden in my heart that had to be dumped. Good bye Rony.....hope we never see each other again....God bless you...have  a great life......

Rony had realized his mistakes . Sherin was sitting at her home, waiting and that was when her mobile screen flashed, it was a text from Rony, he had sent her an apology. Sherin knew she had took her revenge. She sat their smiling, looking at the stars.

This story is heavily inspired from the story of Louisa Manning, who works at the university of oxford and lives in New york.

How she looks now

How she used to look some years ago and that letter she wrote to the guy who made fun of her because of her weight ...

Saturday, 6 December 2014


Well Post marital or pre marital…sex is always exciting…isn’t it. You keep thinking of it all the time. It feels so great when you think of it and when you actually do it, how awesome it would be.  So for me it would had been a big yes to Pre-marital sex because sex is wonderful, its awesome and gives me a sense of excitement and it gives the feeling of an adrenaline rush. I feel like having sex with one out of every 3 women. The figure of a women body makes me crazy. The body of a woman is a masterpiece creation and her boobs are weapons of mass destruction. Sex sex, sex oh its such a wonderful thing. The most exciting thing that can happen between a man and a woman, its Sex, sex is so sexy and sex is so wonderful. Aaaaaahhh I am dreaming now….ooooolaaaaallaaaaaaaaa….how great it would be, to thrust into a beautiful woman and feel her body.  It would be so wonderful. I would love to have sex with so many women,  before I get married to someone and get restricted to having sex with my spouse for the rest of my life.  Ummmm I was fantasizing a bit too much…..Sex is great but then sex is not  something you can have with anyone or everyone….after fantasizing too much, lets go for a reality check, we cannot do everything what we like, isn’t it otherwise we all would have been ended up being pornstars, he he he he…

Here are some reality check points:-

1. You cannot have sex with one out of every 3 women unless you are a multimillionaire or an handsome hunk whom girls are crazy for and that’s not the case with me.

2.Sex involves emotions, before having sex, there is a lot of talking involved, there is a lot of dating that takes place, There are so many emotions involved, you start knowing each other so well and then you fall in love, get intimate, you have sex. From here two things can happen, either you marry her. Well and good or else  you will have to dump her someday or may be she will dump you some day and the breakup will leave you both with bitter memories. You cannot get over her for months, may be years. Even if you do, you cannot forget her completely for the rest of your life. She will remain somewhere in a corner of your heart, somewhere in your subconscious mind, her memories ready to haunt you.

3. So next comes having sex with prostitutes, it won’t involve any emotions as such and you would be spared of the emotional trauma but then it would be too mechanical. Moreover the woman would  be just offering her body not her heart nor her soul, the whole thing would be so boring because body without soul is lifeless. if its sex that you want, ofcourse sex with prostitutes is a good option but it’s a no for me. I cannot have sex without emotions.

4. So next comes strangers, sex with strangers. It can only happen if two strangers feel a strong sexual urge for each other and both are at an isolated place. Then there is a high chance, they will end up having sex. But then such situations happen in movies or in the sexual fantasies of men and women. This days it does happen in real life too, I can think on this one, but then who knows it’s a trap, who knows you are being tricked by someone into something very dangerous. Who know’s tomorrow the woman with whom you had sex last night charges you of raping her. So sex with a stranger would be thrilling but dangerous. Either it would be too much fun or too scary.

So you see there are so many complications in having pre-marital sex. When you and your girl are ready, you don’t get a room, when you have a room, you are single.  Now many would say, common, its not that difficult, so many people have pre-marital sex this days, even we have done that, it’s so common and it’s so much fun. Yes it is fun but At what cost, of course when you look into the mirror, you don’t want to call yourself  a sex maniac. Just for the sake of having fun you go around having sex with every woman possible but then what do you gain. Its not going to satisfy your urge in anyway, the more you have, the more you want it. The lust in you keeps growing and you become a slave of sex. You degrade yourself in your own eyes.  If you get caught someday, you will earn a bad name too.

Now people supporting Pre-marital sex would say, it’s a good to have net practice before you get married….ha ha ha ha ha ha…to them I would say firstly I don’t think using women just for having net practice is a great idea..rather cheap idea.
Secondly when you marry a person, you marry her for the whole life, practice as much as you want with her, practice all 69 positions with her, who is stopping you. You have a whole life before you, perfect every sexual move with each other before you breathe your last.

So for me it’s a big no to pre-marital sex. I would rather wait for the one who deserves me, and moreover there are a lot of men out there, who would do anything to get laid with women, I don’t want to be a part of the crowd, and I always love to choose the road less travelled. I would prefer being a man of dignity who honours his body rather than someone who disgraces it. Life is not about sex , its about love, never live for sex but for love. This are my thoughts and you never know they can change too but I will try to stick to them and be strict with myself and control my beastly urges.  Proud to be a virgin….23 years not out…he he he he he…

So readers, Raise your standards and don't sleep with anyone or everyone.... try to avoid pre-marital sex as long as you can, Bite the bait only if its too sexy and too beautiful to be resisted….wink wink…

Peace be with you all…God bless you.....